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DE WITT’S ACTING- PLAYS 

(Number 151.) 



A HARD CASE. 


% Jfarrt, 


IN ONE ACT. 


BY THOMAS PICTON, 

Author of “ A Tempest in a Tea-Pot,” “ There’s no Smoke without 
Fire,” “* Tis Better to Live than to Die," “ Cupid's Eye- 
Glass," “A Tell-Tale Heart," etc., etc. 

TO WHICH ARE ADDED 

A description of the Costume — Cast of the Characters — Entrances and Exits — 
Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and 
the whole of the Stage Business. 





H t iu - S 0 x k : 

ROBERT M . DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Ji o s e Street. 



f CLOUDS. An Original American Comedy. In Four Acts. By Fred 
NO TV J Marsden. Price 15 Cents. 

BEADY, j A TELL-TALE HEART. AComedietta. InOneAct. By Thomas 

Picton. Price 15 Cents. 




-e©“Thes3 Plays will be sent to any address, postage paid, on receipt 
of price, Fifteen Cents each. 

R. BE WITT, PiIblisIjer, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 


No. 

1. Caste. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Boberl- 

8on. f> Mule, 3 Female Characters. 

2. IV'obody’s Child. Dramatic Play. 3 Acts. 

By Watts Phillips, Esq. Is Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

3. £100,000. By II. J. Byron, 8 Male, 4 Fe- 

male Characters. 

4. Dandelion’s Dodges. Farce. 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

6. William Toll 1 With a Vengeance. 

Burlesque. 2 Acts. By II. J. Byron. 8 Male, 
2 Female Characters. 

C. Six Months Ago. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix 
Dale. 2 Male. 1 Female Characters. 

7. Maud’s Peril. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts 

Phillips. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

8. Henry Dunbar. Drama. 4 Acts. By Tom 

Taylor. 10 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

9. A Tearful Tragedy in the Seven 

Dials. A Farcical Interlude. 1 Act. By 
Charles Selby. 4 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

10. The Snapping Turtles ; or, Matrimonial 

Masquerading. Duologue. 1 Act. By John B. 
Buckstone. 1 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

11. Woodcock’s Tittle Game, Comedy 

Farce. 2 Acts. By John Maddison Morton. 
4 Male, 4 Female Characters. 

12. A Wido-,v dunt. Comedy. 3 Acts. (Al- 

tered from his own comedy of “Everybody’s 
Friend.”) By J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, 4 
Female Characters. 

13. Buy Itlas. Komantic Drama. 4 Acts. 

From the French of Victor Hugo. 12 Male, 
4 Female Characters. 

14. Ko Thoroughfare. Drama. 5 Acts and 

a Prologue. By Charles Dickens and Wilkie 
Collins. 13 Male, 6 Female Characters. 

15. Milky "White. Domestic Drama. 2 Acts. 

By II. T. Craven. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

16. Dearer than Life. Serio-comie Drama. 2 

Acts. By Henry J. Byron. 6 Male, 5 Female 
Characters. 

17. Kind to a Fault. Comedy. 2 Acts. By 

William Brough. 6 Male,4Fen>ale Characters. 

18. If I had n Thousand a Year. Farce. 

1 Act. By John Maddison Morton. 4 Male, 3 
Female Characters. 

19. lie’s a Lunatic. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix 

Dale. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

20. Daddy Gray. Serio-comic Drama. 3 Acts. 

By Andrew Halliday. 8 Male, 4 Female 
Characters. 

21. Play. Comedy. 4 Acts. By T. W. Bobert- 

son. 7 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

22. David Garrick. Comedy. 3 Acts. By 

T. W. ltohertsou. 8 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

23. The Petticoat Parliament. Extrava- 

ganza. 1 Act. By Mark Lemon. 15 Male, 24 
Female Characters. 

2 s. Cabman Ko. 93; or, Found in a Four 
Wheeler. Farce. 1 Act. By T. J. Willlums. 

2 Male, 2 Female Characters. 


No. 

25. The Broken-Hearted Club. Comedietta. 
By J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. 

2G. Society. ■ Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Kob- 
ei tson. 1G Male, 5 Female Characters. 

27. Time and. Tide. Drama. 3 Acts and a Pro- 
logue. By Henry Leslie. 7 Male, 0 Female 
Characters. 

2S. A Happy Pair. Comedietta. 1 Act. By 

S. Theyre Smith. 1 Male, 1 Female Charac- 
ters. 

29. Turning the Tables. Farce. 1 Act. By 

John Poole, Esq. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

30. The Goose with the Golden Eggs. 

Farce. 1 Act. By Messrs. Maylie w and Ed- 
wards. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

31. Taming a Tiger. Farce. 1 Act. 3 Male 

Characters. 

32. The Tittle Rebel. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, 3 Female Charas- 
ters. 

33. One too Many for Him. Farce. 1 Act. 

By T. J. Williams. 2 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. 

34. Tarkin’s Tove Tetters. Farce. 1 Act. 

By T. J. Williams. 3 Mule, 2 Female Charac- 
ters. 

35. A Silent Woman, Farce. 1 Act. By 

Thos. Hailes Lacey. 2 Male, 1 Female Charac- 
ters. 

36. Black Sheep. Drama. 3 Acts. By J. Pal- 

grave Simpson and Edmund Yates. 7 Male, 5 
Female Characters. 

37. A Silent Protector. Farce. 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

3S. The Rightful Heir. Drama. 5 Acts. By 
Lord Lyttou. 10 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

39. Master Jones’ Birthday, Farce. 1 Act. 

By John Maddison Morton. 4 Male, 2 Fmnalo 
Characters. 

40. Atchi. Comedietta. 1 Act. By J. Maddison 

Morton. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

41. Beautiful Forever. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Frederick Hay. 2 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

42. Time and the Hour. Drama, i Acts. 

By J. Palgrave Simpson and F’elix Dale. 7 
Male, 3 Female Characters. 

43. Sisterly Service. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By J. P. Wooler. 7 Male, 2 Female Characteis. 

44. W'ar to the Knife. Comedy. 3 Acts. By 

Henry J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 Female Characters. 

45. Our Domestics. Comedy-Farce. 2 Acts. 

By Frederick Huy. 6 Male," 6 Female Char- 
acters. 

4G. Miriam’s Crime. Drama. t> Acts. By 
II. T. Craveu. 5 Male, 2 semale Characters. 

47. Easy Shaving. Farce. 1 Act. By F. C. 

Burnand and Montague Williams. 5 Male, 2 
Female Characters. 

48. Eittie Annie’s Birthday. Farce. Bj 
. W. E. Suter. 2 Male, 4 Female CT.iaruetcrs. 




A HARD CASE. 


% Jarre, 


IN ONE ACT. 


BY THOMAS PICTOH, 

Author of u A Tempest in a Tea-Pot ,” “ ’Tis Belter to Live than to Die,” “ There's no 
Smoke without Fire ,” “ Cupid's Eye-Glass,” “ A Tell-Tale Heart,” etc., etc. 



TO WHICH IS ADDED, 




A. DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES — CAST OF THE CHARACTERS — ES 
TRANCES AND EXITS — RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PER- 
FORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 







* c 

/ 


> < i i * 


NEW YORK j 

KOBERT M. DE WITT, PUBLISHES, 

No. 33 Rmsf. Street. 

» _ 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by Robert M. De Witt, in 
the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. L>. C. 



2 


A HARD CASE 


CHARACTERS. 

Jeremiah Elms (a mysterious individual) 

Solomon Easy (a Gentleman of leisure and means).. . 



SCENERY. 

SCENE . — A Drawing-Room in a country house. A glass door at back, opening 

I I 

• : : Glass Door. : . . : 


Portrait. 


• : Piano. : 

• •••••••• 

• • • • 

• /Pier 

• .* Table. *Chair. 


• Chimney. 

O 

. Elower-stand. 

. C-Arm-chair, 

. *Chair. 


Portrait. Hunting • 
Trophy. 


.* *. Chair.* ....• 

.•••*. Writing - . • 

Easel. Table. \ • 

• ••• 2d 

• groove. 


Round Table. • 

O Cup- - 
board. • 

Arm-chair. 



upon garden. Lateral doors r. and l*, at 2d grooves; l., at 1st groove, a small 
cupboard, containing everything necessary for bx - eakfast ; on r., a chimney-piece, 
before which is a flower-stand furnished with flowers ; at l., 2d groove, a writing- 
table with pens, ink, and paper ; at back, on L.,a hunting trophy, among the objects 
of which is remarked a horn and a sword ; at back, on k., an upright piano ; on n., 
between chimney and door, a pier table. In front, at r., a large arm-chair; at l., 
around table, on which is a glass of water. At back, two portraits, one of Easy, the 
other of his wife ; a second arm-chair and other chairs ; an easel with a painting on 
it, on the top of the easel a smoking-cap. 


COSTUMES. 

Jeremiah Elms.— T hread-bare black coat, mixed gray pantaloons, shoes well worn, 
no neck cloth, ragged shirt. 

Solomon Easy.— F ine black suit, white waistcoat, patent leather boots, white 
neck-tie. 


SYNOPSIS. 

Solomon Easy, a wealthy gentleman, living retired, is disturbed, at his country 
residence, through hearing the branches broken off a tree, upon which he observes a 
man attempting suicide. Although constitutionally indolent, Easy cuts down the 
man, who announces himself as Jeremiah Elms, a seedy adventurer, apparently. 
The unwelcome guest takes possession of Easy’s apartment, invades his garden, eats 
his peaches, exchanges with him coat, watch, and snuff-box, besides demanding 
breakfast, which he devours while indulging in a boisterous song. Finally Jere- 
miah declares himself to be the lover of Easy’s wife, daughter and niece, as well as 
his determination to live and die with him. To ease himself of this disturber of his 
peace, Easy writes a note to Christopher Nark, a lawyer, promising consent to his 
marriage with his niece upon condition of expelling the intruder. Jeuemikh takes 
the paper, and proves to be she suitor of Easy’s niece, adopting this annoying style 
of conduct to make the acquaintance of an uncle who had never before seen him. 

[For Properties , etc., see last page.] 


A HARD CASE 


SCENE. — A drawing-room in a country house. 

At the rising of the curtain Easy is discovered , lolling lazily in his large arm- 
chair. 

Easy {alone). I’d like to know what time it is, but, then, to look at my 
watch is a formality necessitating action, and I have a holy horror of 
motion. The dream of my life is a perpetual want of motion. Here I 
am fifty years of age, with five thousand dollars annual income, a bru- 
nette for a wife, a blonde for a daughter, and a golden-haired niece. We 
dwell at our ease in the country, afar from noise and annoyances, never 
making calls or receiving visitors. I get up at ten, breakfast at eleven, 
dine at five, sup at nine, and go to bed at ten. And the next day I do 
the same over again. That’s been our regular habit for thirty years, 
and we have been the happiest of mortals — I have, at least, — and it has 
become a second nature. Some people believe that they can’t live with- 
out excitement ; bah ! I hate anything like sensations, good or bad. 
True, m 3 7 wife grumbles, but can’t she amuse herself without me? My 
repose is in this garden of the Hesperides, of which 1 am the dragon. 
For example : a young man, whom I don’t know, a certain Christopher 
Narr, attorney at law, whom I never want to see, has fallen in love with 
my niece’s golden locks, and has asked her hand in marriage. My niece 
encourages the idea, but 1 don’t; a wedding makes a pile of trouble, 
and they may even want me to dance at it. [yawns, when is heard the 
sound of a limb of a tree breaking) Hollo! who’s breaking ray trees 1 (goes 
to door at back, and opens it) Heavens and earth ! what’s this 1 A gym- 
nast, a rope-dancer t No, it can’t be a rope-dancer — he’d dance on a 
rope ; this fellow is dancing from one. It’s a man hanging himself be- 
neath my nose. I’ll stop that thing. ( stops short) No, L won’t. He’s 
discontented with his lot, and so hangs himself. If I cut him down, he 
will tell me his sorrows, and that will make me miserable, besides disar- 
ranging my nervous system. ( closes door) Suppose I haven’t seen any- 
thing. ( hesitates ) If I don’t cut him down my conscience will revolt and 
conjure up the nightmare and bad digestive organs, {goes to trophy and 
takes down sword) It must be done ; {sighs) but that fellow must be a hard 
case to hang himself right over my door step, [opens the door) I don’t 
know who he is, but here goes, [he cuts the cord on the outside, and Jere- 
miah, with a cord around his neck, falls into Easy’s arms) Can’t you 
walk, sir I (Jeremiah, who wears threadbare vestments , learn his head on 
Easy’s shoulder) Oh ! you’re crushing me to pieces ! (he drags him to the 
arm-chair, and makes him be seated) Poh ! I’ve enough of this job. [he re- 
places the sword , and seats himself to r.) He don’t move ! o!) heavens ! if 


4 


A II A 11 D CASK. 

he should die ! (rises) I can’t be accused of murder, (looks around him) 
and nothing to bring him to. (sees glass on round table) Yes, ray glass of 
orange water, (throws water in Jeremiah’s face, who makes a start) He 
comes to ! (places glass on chimney) A strange tiling. ( removes cord form 
Jeremiah’s neck, and places it likewise on chimney) The cord hasn’t eve i 
left a mark ! If I had thought and gone for a policeman — I’m infernally 
sorry for having cut down this vagabond. 

Jeremiah ( drawing himself up , and staring around him). Your humble 
servant, sir ; you’re the gentleman who cut me down ? 

Easy. Yes, sir. 

Jkr. Then the devil take you. (arises.) 

Easy. What did you observe ? 

Jeu. What did you interfere for, sir ? 

Easy. To tell the truth, I 

Jer. When I hang myself I have reasons for it. 

Easy. Just what I said to myself. 

Jer. And that didn’t stop you 1 All right — you have accepted the 
consequences of your action. 

Easy. I don’t comprehend. 

Jer. I was an unfortunate wretch, and wished to put an end to my 
sorrows and trials. In preventing my so doing, you assumed a tacit 
engagement to render me happy — that is the case, and it was very kind 
in you. 

Easy. What’s that? (aside) He ain’t in his right mind as yet ; patience, 
and see how I’ll walk him through the door in a moment or two. 

Jer. Yes, from the moment you forced me to live, you entertained 
the intention of supplying me with the means for so doing. I have noth- 
ing more to say. 

Easy, (aside). He’s cracked, (aloud) Yes, yes. 

Jer. Say you so ? From this second forward I am your obliged ser- 
vant. You have done me a favor I never can forget. Allow me to em- 
brace you ? 

Easy. I can do without it. 

Jer. Pardon me, sir, I think otherwise. It is my right, sir, (tries to 
embrace Easy, who struggles to prevent it) my privilege, sir, my holy duty. 

Easy. I’ve not shaved this morning. 

Jer. ( leaving him free). Then I’ll embrace you to-morrow. 

Easy. Ah! you reckon upon coming again. 

Jer. No, I reckon upon not going away. 

Easy (frightened). How ? 

Jer. Do you take me for an ingrate ? I quit you, my preserver, my 
guardian angel 1 Never ! Stop — I am tempted to embrace you despite 
your beard. 

Easy (disengaging himself). Sir, I am touched, yes, profoundly touched, 
by your gratitude ; but I am afraid of detaining you longer ; so, if you 
have any business on hand — (he shows him the door. ) 

Jer. Business — what would you have me do ? When I hung myself 
it was for want of something to do : for a man in business hasn’t time to 
hang himself. 

Easy. Oh ! 

Jer. Hence make yourself easy ; I’ve time — and you ? 

Easy. I— I 

Jeu. Very well. I’ll relate the story of my sorrows. 

Easy (adde). Just as I said (aloud)' Sir! 

Jer. I’ll reveal you all, except my name, however, and for a good 
reason — I have none, 

Easy. Eh ! 


N 


5 


A HAH I) CASK. 

Jer. It’s interesting, ain’t it? Let’s be seated. 

Easy. Well, then, (lie moves towards the arm-chair, but Jeremiah insta.ls 
himself in it, and pushes a chair towards him.) 

Jer. You’ll take the trouble to-. 

Easy. It’s useless, sir. 

Jer. I’ll talk when you’re seated. Oh! make up your mind. (Easy 
is about to seat himself ) By the way, you may prefer the arm-chair 1 
(makes a gesture of rising.) 

Easy. I confess to you 

Jer. Well, just as you say. (he stretches himself out at ease in the arm- 
chair, and places his legs on Easy’s chair, who goes grumbling in search of 
another) Where are you ? 

Easy (placing chair and taking seat). I’m here. 

' Jer. Very well. I informed you that I had no name, that is to say, 
no Christian name ; but I took myself in my own arms, held myself up 
to the baptismal font, constituted myself my own sponsor, and christened 
myself Jeremiah. That’s a pretty name, ain’t it 1 

Easy. Very pretty. 

Jer. You speak as if you don’t like it. 

Easy. I beg your pardon, I do like it. 

Jer. If it displeases you. say so plainly, and I’ll take another. How 
does that suit you ? 

Easy. But I swear to you 

Jer. So much the better. But Jeremiah alone would never do. (ob- 
serving Easy to appear distracted, he arises , and speaks louder ) But Jere- 
miah alone would never do. 

Easy. I understand— you need not repeat it. (arises in vexation . and 
sets his chair near round table.) 

Jer. Very good. I said to myself, Jeremiah is but a Christian name, 
although originally belonging to a Jew, and as it would not do for Jere- 
miah to stand alone in the world, I searched among the trees for a pro- 
tector, and tumbled upon two elms ; hence, joining the three together, I 
made Jeremiah Elms. 

Easy. Happy marriage. 

Jer. An interesting idea ? 

Easy. Exquisite. (Jeremiah reseats himself, and places his legs as before. ) 

Jer. It might have done for thirty years ago, but, Mister — how do 
you style yourself ? 

Easy. Solomon Easy. 

Jer. Well, Easy Solomon, times have changed since I was born. Jere- 
miah was scriptural, and could stand the ravages of time, but Elms, be- 
ing made from trees, was liable to decay. Consequently, as elms are 
decidedly vulgar in plain English, I lopped off one elm and, by the aid 
of a French dictionary, transformed the other into Orme, or, more aris- 
tocratically, into Del’Orme. Which do you prefer, my Solomonic Easy ? 

Easy. I’m indifferent. Continue., 

Jer. I can only continue after you have made your choice. What say 
you, old boy ? 

Easy (aside). The familiar brute ! (aloud) Del’Orme. 

Jer. Del’Orme be it, as you prefer it. 

Easy. But I don’t prefer it. (aside) If he keeps on with this terrible 
story. 

Jer. As you say. But I have forgotten to tell you 

Easy [nervously). Excuse me! excuse me. You have told me. 

Jer. Sir, wine, cards, and sensible women are the only gifts infusing 
Into me joy ; so I drank, I gamed, I loved so deeply that I have swal- 
lowed up my entire fortune — a handsome sura, placed at my disposal 


6 


A HARD CASE. 


when I reached the age of puberty. I’ve passed that point, and you too, 
Solomon, [he lakes his legs from off the chair — Easy seats himself.) 

Easy {aside). The fellow bores me without putting me to sleep, {he 
takes a pinch of snuff from a gold snuff-box ; Jeremiah takes the box out of 
his hand , puts the snuff up his nose , and places box in his own pocket.) 

Easy. My snuff-box, sir. 

Jer. Here is another one, Master Solomon, {gives him a pewter box , 
battered and tarnished.) 

Easy. What can I do with this piece of trumpery 'l 

Jer. Ju>t the thing for the country ! (Easy makes a movement of bad 
temper , and puts the box in his pocket) l had hoped to remove the stain 
from my escutcheon, to have assumed that social position I could adorn, 
but the father of my wealthy, but faithless, fair one refused his consent 
to her marriage with Jeremiah — Del’Orine, wasn’t it, old boy 1 

Easy {pettishly). Yes, sir, Del’Orme. 

Jer. In short, bankrupt in hope and in capital, houseless, moneyless, 
nameless, and crossed in love, it only remained to me to rob the world 
of one of its elegant ornaments. With my last dime I took a final drink, 
with that cord ( pointing to it on mantel-piece) I made my parting cravat, 
and leapt wildly into mid air, when that blessed knife 

Easy. It was a sword, sir. 

Jer. Don’t contradict me. When that blessed knife of yours put an 
end to my aerial fandango. 

Easy ( rising , and taking his chair to back , r., against the easel). Have 
you finished ? 

Jer. Yes, sir. What do you ask for? Do you want me to recom- 
mence ? 

Easy. No ! But I thought they might be anxious about you at your 
home. 

•Jer. My home ! I have no home; have men, who have been hung, 
homes 1 Moreover, sir, I repeat that I could never, in such a wise, de- 
sert my preserver. 

Easy. You must, sooner or later. 

Jer. Never, sir, never. 

Easy {affrighted). How ! never ? Do you intend to install yourself 
here ? 

Jer. I count upon here terminating my career. 

Easy. Terminating your— but it seems to me 

Jer. It seems to you! that's coming it too strong, forsooth ! You 
have then unhung me only to extort my wretched history, and would 
force me to hang myself anew, after listening to my tale of sorrow. 

Easy. Well, sir. 

Jer. Very well, indeed. I recognize my benefactor, and await the 
progress of his benefactions. I await, sir, until you procure for me all 
the joys of earth within your power, and those with brief delay — right 
away. 

Easy {remonstratingly) . But, sir — but, sir — 

Jer. If you do not render me the happiest of mortals, I will with- 
draw ; and, in that case, you will be my assassin. 

Easy [aside). Good, good, good ! 

Jer. {going up). To commence, [he takes off his own threadbare coat, and 
puts on a handsome one, which he finds on a chair at the back , l., before the 
piano.) 

Easy. Hullo ! what are you about there I 

Jer. {crosses to r.). I have the misfortune to be badly attired ? 

Easy. That’s my ball dress-coat, sir. 

Jer. You go to balls then 1 i’ll go with you. 


A HARD CASE. 7 

East {throwing himself upon Jeremiah). Will you give me back that 
coat 7 

Jer. How! give it back to a man of many coats'! You’re destitute 
of all conscience, that you are. 

East. Ah! 

Jer. After ail, I’m a good fellow ; since you must have this coat, take 
it in exchange for your own. 

East. Is that your game 7 

Jer. I can do nothing better. Take or leave it. 

East. He fleeces me ! {takes off his coat.) 

Jer. ( doing the same). Say now, it is not a bad bargain for you. You 
gain by it. 

East. That means I lose less, {they exchange coats, and put them on, the 
one laughing the other growling .) 

Jer. Now I am presentable. It is not luxurious but passable, {draw- 
ing a purse out of one of the pockets) And, moreover, it is well lined. 

East. My purse ! 

Jer. {putting the purse lack into pocket). Excuse me; this coat is my 
property, and the proceeds of the property belong to its owner, {he takes 
his seat at the round table.) 

Easy. This has ceased to be a joke. 

Jer. ( leaning his head upon his breast, and appearing to listen to a voice ad- 
dressing him) Eh 7 

East {loudly). Again, sir ! 

Jer. Hush! ( to himself) Please, sir? Have I breakfasted? No 1 
have not breakfasted. 

Easy. What’s that 7 

Jer. As I am given to fits of abstraction, I have charged my stomach 
to announce every time I am hungry, and, just now, it rung the break- 
fast bell. 

Easy. Very ingenious on your part, and it should not be left to lan- 
guish. Good day, sir. 

Jer. {aside, and arising). He don’t seem to have taken the hint, {aloud, 
going to the door at back, through whictf he looks out) Hullo ! peaches ! {at- 
tempts to go out.) 

Easy {restraining him). My peaches ! the best peaches in my garden ! 

Jer. Oh! I have no preference — besides there are others, {shakes Easy 
off, and disappears into gardeti.) 

Easy. But, sir 

Jer. {reappearing almost instantly). I’ll come back, {disappearing , and 
reappearing) Make your mind easy — i’ll come back, {disappears.) 

• Easy {alone, at back). Where is he going ? Sir ! There he is. break- 
ing down branches to bring the fruit within reach. Sir! sir! He’s 
trampling on the flower beds, [a noise is heard of ghss breaking) There 
goes my hot-house glasses. Mr. Del’Orme ! have mercy on the melons, 
do, Mr. Del’Orme! {he falls, overpowered, into an arm-chair) Ah ! the beg- 
gar ! and it was I who cut him down. Another warning against med- 
dling with other people’s business. Oh, lord! how to get rid of him! 
{arises, and goes to back) Mr. Del’ Of me, come here, come here; I want to 
speak to you. I’ll be down sick, that’s sure. 

Jeremiah re-enters , eating a p c ach. 

Can’t you be a little more quiet. 

Jer. Nothing suits me better ; but first to breakfast; that’s rational! 

Easy (bitterly). Rational ! 

Jer. You refuse! (he rc-csccmls.) 


8 


A HARD CASE. 


Easy. Oh, no ! 

Jer. Where is the dining-room 1 

Easy. No! no! we breakfast tete-a-tete. (Jeremtah comes forward) My 
men are in the field, and I likewise, my wife is out shopping, my daugh- 
ter is visiting, and my niece is sick abed. 

Jer. (i enthusiastically ). Then you have a wife, a daughter, and a niece 1 

Easy {aside). I’ve put my foot in it. 

Jer. They’re out, you say? that’s unfortunate; but I’ll have better 
luck at dinner. 

Easy ( stupefied ). At dinner ? 

Jer. And so, to prevent my making them wait, have the kindness to 
regulate my watch by yours, (takes down a lady's watch hanging by the 
chimney .) 

Easy. My wife’s watch ! a watch set with diamonds. 

Jer. I’d be a wretched man without a watch ! 

Easy. So would my wife. ( attempts to seize it.) 

Jer. If you really think so i’ll restore it. 

Easy. That’s kind of you. 

Jer. In exchange for your own. 

Easy. He’s a downright thief. Should I call for help — (moun's to- 
wards back, and then stops) blit who I 1 am alone. 

Jer. (holding out the to itch). Your mind’s made up ? 

Easy (aside). Bobber! (hands' him his own watch , and receives the other in 
exchange .) 

Jer. Now to breakfast. 

Easy. Yes, sir, you can eat ; I have at hand everything you need. 
{aside) The leavings of the table, (he goes to the little cupboard at r., and 
takes out provisions . ) 

Jer. No, not those — not those; the others below — the others. 

Easy (aside). He has an eye upon everything, [he takes another dish of 
provisions.) 

Jer. You have splendid silverware, by jingo. 

Easy ( with animation). It’s all plated. 

Jer. Be it so. (looking around while Easy places knife and fork , etc., on 
the small round table, and then deposits the edibles) I can enjoy myself well 
enough here ; a delicious garden, a handsome apartment, very conve- 
nient furniture, only the arrangement is unfortunate. 

Easy. What are you talking about 1 

Jer. I said the arrangement was unfortunate. 

Easy. I’m sorry for it. 

Jer. It can be remedied. If that writing-desk was there, and the pier 
table on this side— {carries the desk to the l. and pier table to the r.) There 
it is already belter. 

Easy (quitting the table). What are you about! 

J er. Putting things to right, (while Easy restores the desk and pier table 
to their original places, Jeremiah takes the flower stand and places it in front 
centre) The flower stand here. 

Easy {running to him). Sir! sir! 

Jer. An arm-chair on each side— thus, (places one cn each side of the 
flower stand, with backs to audience.) 

Easy {in anger). Will you never case 1 

Jer. [seating himself in arm-chair, l.). Take a seat, and keep cool. 

Easy. I m done for. (sinks, out of breath, into arm-chair , r.) 

Jer. You have already a totally different appearance, (poin's to Easy’s 
portrait at back) There, for example, is a villainous countenance. 

Easy, it’s my portrait, sir ! 


A HARD CASE. 

Jer. I agree with you entirely ; it is in detestable taste. ( he arises, 
goes to the bade, and turns the picture face to the tvall.) 

Easy (rising). He turns me around! (he replaces the j lower-stand and 
arm chairs as originally.') 

Jer. You are better looking when viewed from the opposite side. 
(taking the smoking-cap from top of easel) Hold, what’s all this ? 

Easy. My smoking-cap, sir. (strives to take it from him.) 

Jer. Ah! indeed; very well embroidered; your work, Mr. Easy! 
( puts it on his head. ) 

Easy. He treats my house like a conquered city — it is an actual sack. 

Jer. (pocketing the cap). Yes, a little too large, but still it is warm. 

Easy (furious). I sweat all over. 

Jer. (seating himself at round table, ‘find helping himself). Gracious 
heavens ! woodcock ! ( takes trine bottle, pours out a glass, and drinks) Rhine 
wine, eh ? Ah ! Solomon, this is unkind in you, this treating me as a 
stranger. ( drinks again.) 

Easy (with quickness). A Bedouin Arab ! 

Jer. Am I not one of the family 1 (drinks.) 

Easy. One of the family ? (aside) How he drinks. I suppose you will 
likewise want me to give you up my own bed I 

Jer. Not at all ; there are others in the house ; three, I think ; you 
know best, (drinks.) 

Easy (with horror) The beast ! 

Jer. You don’t eat 1 If you don’t, just give me something in the way 
of a song. 

Easy (exasperated). Unheard of impudence ! 

Jer. Well, if you don’t sing, I will try my hand at a good old rollick- 
ing song, (drinks) .1 give you fair notice that it’s of the bacchanalian 
order. First, a drop to whet my whistle. ( drinks ) 1 warn you, too, that 
it is a little long — but we have time on our hands. Now for the first 
verse, (drinks) Hum! (he sings at full voice) 

Drink of this cup — you’ll find there’s a spell in 
Its every drop ’gainst the ills of mortality — 

Easy (wishing to quiet him). Sir! sir! 

Jer. (singing still louder). 

Talk of the cordial which sparkler! for Helen — 

Her cup was a fiction, but this is reality. 

Easy But. sir 

Jer. (continues singing). 

Would you forget the dark world \ye are in, 

Only taste of the bubble that gleams on the top of it ; 

Easy (impatiently). I must say, sir 

Jer. Oh, be quiet, and don’t put me out. (continues to sing) 

But would you rise above earth, till akin 

To immortals themselves, you must drain every drop of it. 

Easy. This is unendurable ! 

Jer. Chorus now, old fellow, (continues in a very loud tone of voice) 

Send round the cup — for oh ! there’s a spell in 
Its every drop ’gainst the ills of mortality — 

Easy. But, heathen, they’ll hear you bellow a mile off ! 

Jer. You exaggerate : I bet they can't, (continues) 

Talk of the cordial that sparkled for Helen — 

Her cup was a fiction, but this is reality ! 

Easy (much excited). I bet they can 

Jer. (drinks). Taken ; let’s see who wins, (continues singing very loud) 
Never was philter formed with such power. 


to 


10 


A HAED CASE. 


Easy ( beside himself). Sir, for the last time, I entreat you to murder 
me outright, hut don’t kill me by inches. 

Jer. ( after a pause). You don’t want me to sing ? ( arising , and going to 
piano) Then I will play the piano. 

Easy ( interposing ). It’s the piano of my wife, sir ! 

Jer. I see you don’t like music; I’m sorry for you; you have a vil- 
lainous soul ; as for me, I’m the reverse. I have a sensitive soul, an 
artistic nature, and as it wants to spread itself, I’ll paint your portrait. 
{going towards easel) I’ll paint you full length with a foot or two thrown 
in. 

Easy [getting "between him and easel). That is the easel of my daughter, 
sir. 

Jer. You’re a precious bore. Is there no way of amusing one’s self 
here ? Ah ! fill give a trumpet blast, {he takes the horn from the trophy 
at back , blows a few notes, throws the horn down , and looks outside) What a 
lovely figure ! what splendid shoulders ! if the face only corresponds — 
Easy. Whose face 7 
Jer. Out there, in front of us. 

Easy [aside). My wife ! 

Jer. You said my wife 7 
Easy. I didn’t. 

Jer. Then you said my daughter 7 
Easy. Not at all. 

Jer. You must have said my niece 7 
Easy. Never, [aside) This caps the climax. 

Jer. Then I’ll see for myself who she is. {goes up.) 

Easy ( catching hold of him, and aside). In such a headstrong temper. 
[aloud) Stay ! 

Jer. No, I won’t; everything I undertake displeases you, and now I 
will please myself, [goes up again.) 

Easy On the contrary, I find you of a most obliging disposition. In 
the first place, I adore music, and if you would only accommodate me — 
{points to piano.) 

Jer. No, sir — no ! (he endeavors to go out.) 

Easy. Should you prefer to take my like ness 7 
Jer. No, sir — no ! [attempts to go out.) 

Easy {running after him). One word more, sir. (aside) We must fight 
love for love, {aloud) Mr. Del’Orme, you were speaking a moment ago 

of a handsome young girl you loved. Should 

Jer. Decidedly not. ( looking at picture, l.) I’ve given over girls ; I 
prefer loving married womdh ; it’s more spicy. ( desires to go out.) 

Easy. But that is immoral, (restraining him.) 

Jer. Maybe, but that adds zest to the sauce. Besides, my last love 
repelled me because I was fatherless. We’ll speak of her no more. 
(crosses to r.) The haughty minx ! 

Easy ( following him). Don’t get excited. 

Jer. And I was on the point of death for her. Fool, madman as I 
was. (crosses to l.) 

Easy [following him). But if, with a dowry, we could remove her 
scruples 

Jer. Dowry! money! It is a name I need! (advancing upon Easy) 
Ah ! you have rebound the half-broken fetters of my existence, and you 
speak to me of happiness. ( crosses to r.) You are but a paltry intriguer ! 
Easy. Mr. Del’Orme ! 

Jer. But I am dreaming, [returning to Easy) It is a father I want — 
adopt me 7 
Easy. I ? 


A HARD CASE. 


11 


Jer. I’ll be a second-hand edition of the Prodigal Son. Do you rec- 
ognize me 1 

Easy. Yes, yes, I will recognize you— but adopt you— never ! 

Jer. You refuse 1 Well, so much the better! I prefer your wile' 
she adores me ! I’ll write to her ; yes, right on the spot— pens, ink, and 
paper ! {he goes towards the writing-desk, but Easy interposes and places hint- 
self before him.) 

Easy. You shall not write! 

Jer. Cruel man ! and I love your wife so tenderly ; I will render her 
so happy ! 

Easy. Happy with you ? 

J er. A thousand times more than you can make her ! Why not ? 
Look at me — I am young — I am handsome — I am a natural born lover ! 
{crosses to r.) I have a heart overflowing with love, and a head dripping 
over with poetry. As for you — bah ! I well knew you had a villainous 
souf ! 

Easy. But you shan’t have rny wife ! 

Jer. Deluded egotist ! 

Easy. Immoral monster ! 

Jer. After all, if you prefer, give me your daughter. 

Easy. My daughter 1 — never ! 

Jer. Then give me your niece. 

Easy. No ! no ! no ! 

Jer. Then, as you won’t give me one, I’ll take all three. 

Easy. All three ! 

Jer. ( ascending the stage to near the door at back). Yes, I will plant my- 
self on this threshold ; I will take root there ; and when they appear 

A Voice {coming from the right). Solomon ! 

Easy. My wife ! 

J er. His wife ! (Easy runs to door r., closes it, and pushes in the bolt on 
the inside.) 

A Second Voice {coming from garden). Father ! 

Easy {running to close the door at back, while Jeremiah has reopened that 
at r.). My daughter ! 

Jer. {going to reopen door at ba de). His daughter ! 

A Third Voice {coming from l.). Uncle! 

Easy {running to close door l.). M 3 7 niece! 

Jer. opening door l.). His niece ! 

Easy {breathing hard). Sir, it is time this thing finishes. I can’t live 
in mortal agony any longer, {spasmodically.) 

Jer. {aside). The catastrophe approaches. 

Easy. This morning I inerrupted your hanging. Well, I beg your 
pardon for interfering. J ust recommence what you were about, and I 
pledge my honor I won’t cut you down, {goes to chimney-piece, takes the 
cord, and presents it to Jeremiah) There’s enough left to finish up the job. 

Jer. No, sir, I will not. 

Easy. Do it, I entreat you. 

Jer. No, 1 tell 3 r ou ! 

Easy. YVicked man, do it for my sake. 

Jer. I have changed my mind— I desire, henceforth, to live, for I love 
and will be loved. 

Easy (moodily). You will be loved 1 

Jer. Without a doubt ; consequently 

Easy {gloomily ). You won’t hang again 1 

Jer. No ! I’ll be hanged if I hang myself again. 

Easy. In that case it is I who will hang myself. 


12 


A HARD CASE. 


Jer. Easier said than done; I’d like to see you do it. ( takes a seat in 
the arm-chair near tabled) 

Easy. You will have that melancholy satisfaction, {he puts cord around 
his neck, but suddenly he beats his forehead , and withdraws the cord ) No, sir, 
you shall not see it ; I’ll not waste upon you such a gratification. I have 
another method, sir— another method! ( he throws the cord to Jeremiah, 
who pockets it.) 

Jer. {arising). Prussic acid? Nicotine*? 

Easy. I have another method of getting rid of you. Ah ! you don’t 
want to go out of here 1 Ah ! you want to marry my wife 1 You want 
to marry my daughter and niece ? Well, sir, my niece loves another ; 
my daughter does the same, and my wife — ( stops short) Yes, sir, my 
niece is dead in love with a dashing young man. 

Jer. She is dead in love with me. 

Easy ( contemptuously ). With you ? He is a sterling man. 

Jer. So am I ! 

Easy. A high-toned gentleman ! 

Jer. So am I ! 

Easy. A soldier, covered with war dust and glory ! 

Jer. So am I ! 

Easy. Your superior in every respect. I will cause him to come here 
and kick you out by the window. 1 will announce to him that, on those 
terms, he will have my consent to his marriage with my niece. 

Jer. You dare not do it. 

Easy. I dare not do it*? Wait and see if I don’t, (he seats himself at the 
writing-desk , and arranges writing materials) I will give him my niece and 
a dowry of ten thousand dollars. 

Jer. You will give both to me. 

Easy ( sarcastically ). That would be a capital joke. I will write at 
once, (commences to write ) “Christopher Narr, Esq., Attorney at law.” 
{turning to Jeremiah) He is an attorney at law, sir. 

Jer. So am I. 

Easy (continuing to write). “ My dear Christopher — you have lost no- 
thing by patiently awaiting my decision ; my niece loves you and I love 
you.” 

J er. I know you love me. 

Easy. Bah ! (continues to write) “ I await, in impatience, the moment 
when I can call you my nephew. My niece shall have a dowry of fifteen 
thousand dollars.” (turning to Jeremiah) What no you think of that, sir *? 

Jer. It is not enough. 

Easy. Well, I’ll make it twenty-five thousand, to oblige you. 

Jer. It’s very kind on your part. 

Easy (writing). “You can consider this letter as a contract,” (to Jere- 
miah) as a contract; “ and I subscribe myself, while awaiting its being 
put in form, yours, affectionately, Solomon Easy.” (to Jeremiah) 1 take 
pride in being named Solomon, sir. 

Jer. Your parents admired wisdom ; did you have a sister Sophia*? 

Easy. No, sir! (he folds the letter , and rises from his chair ) Now, I’ll 
dispatch this letter instantly. 

Jer. To his address *? (takes letter) It has arrived at its destination. I 
thank you, uncle. 

Easy ( pettishly ). What’s that! 

Jer. (saluting him). Christopher Narr, Attorney at law. 

Easy. You Christopher Narr ? 

Jer. The identical individual. I merely wished to demonstrate to 
you that it would be better to have me for a nephew than a lodger. I 


A HABD CASE. 


13 


have succeeded, haven’t I ? (t endring him his hand.) No ill will between 
us, uncle. 

Easy ( spitefully , and recoiling from him). No ill will ! Pooh ! vou don’t 
know me. 

J kr. All in good time.. Imitate your namesake, Uncle Solomon ; ho 
just and be wise in your judgments. Have I not your signed contract? 

Easy. That’s all you will get. 

Jer. Then Ave will go to law. 

Easy. Go to law ? 

Jer. Certainly; law is my business, and, if you don’t give me a for- 
tune, I must earn one. In the first place, i’ll bring a suit against you ; 
duration, five years ; you will lose it, and appeal ; we will go from court 
to court ; ten years more ; grand total, fifteen years, during the course 
of which you will become a bankrupt and an incurable lunatic. 

Easy. Ffteen years ! bankrupt ! lunatic ! 

Jer. Believe me, it will be wiser to dance at my marriage. ( extends 
hand to him.) 

Easy. Of two evils, choose the least, law or dancing. I accept the 
latter. ( takes the hand) Nephew, marriage may reform you, but, in your 
present condition, I am firmly convinced that you are A Hard Case ! 

CURTAIN. 


PROPERTIES. 

Flower-stand with flowers ; small cupboard, with everything requisite for breakfast ; 
writing-table; pens, ink and paper; hunting trophy; horn; sword; piano: 
pier table; two arm-chairs; chairs; round table; glass of water; portraits; 
easel, painting on it; smoking-cap; cord; two watches; gold snuff-box; pew- 
ter snuff-box; handsome coat; money purse; peach; lady’s watch; plates, 
knives, forks, provisions, for breakfast ; writing-desk ; bottle of wine ; glasses ; 
paint ; brushes ; letter paper. 


STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across 
the back of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in 
the Flat ; L. C. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Lett Door ; 1 E. 
First Entrance; 2 E. Second Entrance; IT. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First 
Second or Third Groove. 

R. R. C. C. R. C. 

. BST The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. 










) '* ■ d 





































































OCT 6 


1931 






De ^Vitt , s Acting Plays — Continued 




No. 

49. The H3!<lni"ht Watch. Drama. 1 Act. 

By Joint M. Morton, b Male, 2 Female Char- 
ncte.'H. 

50. The Porter’s Knot. Serio-Comic Drama. 

2 Ac I a. By Joan Oxenl'orJ. 8 Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

61. jV Model fora Wife. Farce. 1 Act. I5y 
Alfred Wigan. 3 Mate, 2 Female Characters. 

52. A Cup of Tea. Comedietta. 1 Act. By 
Charles N uitter and J. Derley. 3 Male, 1 Fe- 
male Characters. 

63. Gertrude’s IHoncy-Bnx. Farce. 1 Act. 

By Harry Lemon. 4 Male, 2 Female Characteis. 
54. The Young Collegian, Farce. 1 Act. 
By T. W. Robertson. 3 Male, 2 Female Char- 
acters. 

65. Catherine Howard; or, Tlie Throne, the 
Tomb and the Scallold Historic Play. 3 Acts. 
By \V. D. Miter. 12 Male, 5 Female Characters. 
6G. Two Gay Deceivers ; Or. Black, White 
and Gray. Farce. 1 Act. By T. W. Bobert- 
son. 5 Male Characters. 

57. IVoemic. Drama. 2 Acts. By T. IV. Robert- 
son. 4 .Male, 4 Female Characters. 

51. Deborah ( Leah) ; nr. Thu Jewish Maiden’s 

Wrong. Drama. 3 Acts. By Chas. Smith 
Cheltnam. 7 Male, 6 Female Characters. 

59. The Post-Boy. Drama. 2 Acts. By II. T. 

Craven. 5 Male, 5 Female Characters. 

CO. The Hidden Hand ; cr, The Gray Lady of 
Perth Vennon. Drama. 4 Acts. By Tom 
Taylor. 5 Male, fi Female Characters. 

61. I»lot and Passion. Drama. 3 Acts. By 

Tom Taylor. 7 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

62. APhotographic Fix. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female Charac- 
ters. 

63. Marriage at any Price. Farce. 1 Act. 

By J. P. Wooler. 5 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

64. A Household Fairy. A Domestic Sketch, 

1 Act. By Francis Tall'ourd. 1 Male, 1 Fe- 
male Characteis. 

65. Checkmate. Comedy Farce. 2 Acts. By 

Andrew Halliday. 6 Male, 5 Female Charac- 
ters. 

66. The Orange Girl. Drama, in a Prologue 

and 3 Acts. By Henry Leslie. 18 Male, 4 Fe- 
male Characters. 

67. The Birth-place of Podgers. Farce. 

1 Act. By John llohingsliead. 7 Slale, 3 Fe- 
male Characters. 

68. The Chevalier de St. George. Drama. 

5 Acts. B y T. W. Kobeitson. 9 Male, 3 Fe- 
male Characte — . 

69. Caught by toe CxifT. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Frederick ll\y. 4 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

70. The Bonnie Fish "Wife. Farce. 1 Act. 

By Charles Selby. 3 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

71. Doing for the Best. Domestic Drama. 2 

Acts. By M. Uaphino Lacy. 5 Male, 3 Female 
Characters. 

72. A. Came Excuse. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- 

erick Hay. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

73. Fettered. Drama. 3 Acts. By Watts Phil- 

lips. It Male, 4 Female Characters. 

74. The Garrick Fever. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J. It. Blanche. 7 Male, 4 Female Characters. 

75. Adrienne. Drama. 3 Acts. By Henry Leslie. 

7 Mate, 3 Female Characters. 

76. Chops of the Channel. Nautical Farce. 

1 Act. By Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

77. The Boll of the Drum. Drama. 3 ActR. 

By Thomas Egerton Wilks. 8 Male, 4 Female 
Characters. 

78. Special Performances. Farce. 1 Act. 

By Wllniot Harrison. 7 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. _ 

79. A Sheep In Wolf's Clothing. Domestic 

Drama. 1 Ac*. By Tom Taylor. 7 Male, 5 
Female Characters. 


No. 

80. A Charming Pair. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Thomas J. Williams. 4 Male, 3 Female Char* 
acteis. 

81. Vandyke Brown. Farce. 1 Act. By A. 

C. Troughton. 3 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

82. Peep o’ Day ; or, Savournecn Dhcelisli. • 

(New Drury Lane Version. ) Irish Drama. 4 
Acts. By Edmund Falconer. 12 Male, 4 Fe- 
male Characters. 

83. Thrice Married. Personation Piece. 1 

Act. By Howard Paul. 6 Male, 1 Female 
Characters. 

84. I\’€»t Builty. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts 

Phillips. 10 Male. 6 Female Characters. 

85. Cocked in with a Cady. Sketch from 

Life. By H. K. Addison. 1 Male, 1 Female i 
Characters. 

86. The Lady of Eyons; or, Love ami Pride. i 

(The Fechter Version.) Play. 5 Acts. By 
Lord Litton. 10 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

87. Locked Out. Comic Scene. 1 Act. By 

Howard Pa "I. 1 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

88. Founded on Facts. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J. P. Wooler. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

89. Aunt Chnrlotte’s Mnid. Fui"V!. 1 Act. 

Bv J. M. Morton. 3 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

90. Only a Halfpenny. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Jo.in Oxenford. 2 Male, 3 Fenv.ie Characters. 

91. YValpole; or, Every Man has his Price. 

Comedy in Khymc. 3 Acls. By Lord Lytton. 

7 Male. 2 Female Characters. 

92. My Wife’s Out. Farce. 1 Act. By G. 

Herbert Rod well. 2 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

93. The Aren BclF.c. Farce. 1 Act. By William; 

Brough and Andrew Halliday. 3 Male, 2 Fe- 
male Characters. 

94. Our Clerks ; or. No. 3 Fig Tree Court Tem 

p’e. Farce. 1 Act. 7 Male, 5 Female Char- 
acters. 

95. The Pretty Horse Breaker. Farce. 

1 Act. By William Brough and Andrew Halli- 
dav. 3 Male, 10 Female Characters. 

96. Hearest Mamma. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By Walter Gordon. 4 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

97. Ornnge Blossoms. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By J. i*. Wooler. 3 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

98. Who is Who? or. All in a Fog. Farce. 

1 Act. By Thomas J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Fe- 
male Characters. 

99. The Fifth TVlieel. Comedy. 3 Acts. 10 

Mai*-, 2 Female Characters. r 

100. Jack Eong ; or, The Shot in the Eye. Drama. 

2 Acts. By J. B. Johustone. 5 Male, 1 Female 
Characters. 

101. Fernand e. Drama. 3 Acts. By Yictoricn 
tiardou. 11 Male, 10 Female Characters. 

102 Foiled. Drama. 4 Acts, By 0. W. Cornish.. . 

8 Male, 3 Female Characters 

103. Faust and Margucrftte. Drama. 3 

Acts. By T. W. Robertson, y Male, 7 Female 
Characters. 

104. No Name. Drama. 4 Acts. By Willde Col- 

lins. 7 Male, 5 Female Characters 

105. Which of the Two. Comedietta. 1 Act 

By John M Morton. 2 Male, lb Female Characterg 

106 Up for the Cattle Show. Farce. 1 Act 
By Harry Lemon. OMalo, 2 Female Characters 

107. Cupboard Love. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- 

crick Hay 2 Male. 1 Female Characters 

108. Mr. f erogfglns. Farce. 1 Act. By William 

Hancock. 3 Male , 3 T© nale Characters 

108. Locked In. Comedietta. 1 Act. By J. P. 
Wooler. '* Male. 3 Female Characters 

110. Pop^leton’s Predicamet ts. Farce. 1 

Act. By Charles M. Kac. 3 Male, 6 Femalo Char- 
acters 

111, The Liar. Comedy. 2 Acts. By Sam’l Foote. 

Altered and adapted by Charles Matthews. 7 Malo 
and 2 Female Characters. 

I 


LIBRARY OF CONbKbbb 








i 


De Witt’s Act 

ill 

0 

ill 

01 

II 

2 

1 11 
)72 

1 in 

J47 

h 

ued. 


No 

112. Not a Bit Jealous. A Farce, in 1 Act. By 

T. W. Robertson. 3 Male, 3 Female characters 

113. Cyril’s Success. Comedy, in 5 Acts. By H. 

J. Byron. 9 Male, 5 Female characters. 

114. Anything for a Change. Petite Comedy, 

in 1 Act. By Shirley Brooks. 3 Male, 3 Fe- 
male characters. 

115. New Men and Old Acres. Comedy, in 3 

Arts. By Tom Taylor. 8 Male, 5 Female char- 
acters. 

116. I’m not Mesilf at all. An Original Irish 
Stew. By C. A. Maltby. 3 Male, 2 Female 
characters 

117. Not Such a Fool as he Looks. Farcical 

Drama, in 3 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 
Female characters. 

118. Wanted, a Young Lady. Farce, in 1 Act, 

By W . E. Suter. 3 Male cbaracters. 

119. A Life Chase. Drama, in 5 Acts. By John 

Oxenford. 14 Male, 5 Female characters 

120. A Tempest in a Tea Pot. Petite Comedy, 

in 1 Act. By Thomas Picton. 2 Male, 1 Fe- 
male characters 

121. A Comical Countess. Farce, in 1 Act. By 

William Brough. 3 Male, 1 Female characters 

122. Isabella Orslni. Romantic Drama, in 4 Acts- 

By S. H. Mosenthal. 1 1 Male, 4 Female charac- 
ters 

123. The Two Poets. Farce. By John Court- 

nay. 4 Male, 4 Female characters 

124. The Volunteer Review. A Farce. By 

Thomas J. Williams, Esq. 6 Male, b Female 
characters 

125. Deerfooi, Farce, in I Act. By F. C. Bur- 

ftand, Esq. 5 Male, 1 Female characters 

126. Twice Killed. Farce. By John Oxenford. — 

6 Male, 3 Female characters 

127. Peggy Green. Farce. By Charles Selby. — 

3 Male, 10 Female characters 

128. The Female Detective. Origina 1 Drama> 

in 3 Acts. By C. H. Hazlewood, 11 Male, 4 
Female charaters 

129. In ior a Holiday. Farce, in 1 Act. By F. C. 

Burnand, Esq. 2 Male, 3 Female characters 

130. My Wife’s Diary, Farce, in 1 Act. By T. 

W. Robertson, 3 Male, 1 Female characters 

131. Go to Putney. Original Farce, in 1 Act. By 

Harry Lemon. 3 Male, 4 Female characters 

132. A Race for a Dinner. Farce. By J. T. 

G. Rodwell. 10 Male characters 

133. Timothy to the Rescue. Original Farce, 

in 1 Act. By Henry J. Byron, Esq, 4 Male, 

2 Female characters 

,134. Tompkins the Troubadour. Farce, ini 
Act. By Messrs. Lockroy and Marc Michel. — 

3 Male, 2 Female characters 

135. Everybody’s Friend. Original Comedy, in 

3 Acts. By J. Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male, 5 
Female characters 

136, The Woman in Red. Drama, in 3 Acts and 

a Prologue. By J. Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male 
8 emale characters 


No 

137. L’ Article 4? ; or, Breaking the Ban. Drama, 
in 3 Acts. By Adolphe Belot. 11 Male, 5 Fe- 
male characters 

13S. Poll and Partner Joe ; or the Pride of Put- 
ney, and the Pressing Pirate. New and gi- 
nal Nautical Burlesque. By F. C. Burnand. — 

7 Male, » Female characters 

139. Joy is Dangerous. Comedy, in 2 Acts. By 

James Mortimer. 3 Male, 3 Fen.a.e characters 

140. Never Reckon yo ir Chickens. Farce, a 

1 Ait. By Wybert Reeve. 3 Male, 4 Female 
characters 

De Witt’s Ethiopian and 
Comic Drama. 

No. Price 15 Cesits Each. 

1. The Last of the Mohicans. Ethiopian 
Sketch. By J. C. Stewart. 3 -Male, 1 Feu.ale 
characters. 

2. Tricks. Ethiopian Sketch. By J. C. Stewart 
6 Maie, 2 Female cln rncters. 

3. Hemmed In. Ethiopian Sketch. 3 Male, 1 
Female character?. 

4. Eh? What is it? Ethiopian Sketch. By J. 
C.Stewa. t. 4 Male, 1 Female characters. 

5. The Two Black Roses. Ethiopian Sketch 
By J.C. > tew art. 4 Male, 1 Female ctiaracters. 

6. The Black Chap from Whitechapel. 
An eccentric Negro piece. By H. L. Williams 
Jr. 4 Male characters. 

De Witt’s Elocutionary Series, 

Price 15 Cents Bach. 

L The Academic Speaker. Containing anun 
usual variety o 1 striking dramatic dialogues and 
other most effective pteees with remarks on Elo- 
cution, &c 

2. The Dramatic Speaker. Composed of 
many very carefully chosen Monologues, Dialo- 
gues and other effective scenes from the most 
famous Tragedies, Comedies and Farces. 

3. The Histrionic Speaker. Being a careful 
compilation oi'the most amusing Dramatic scenes 
— light, gay, pointed, witty and sparkling. 

4. The Thespian Speaker ; being the best 
scenes from the best Plays teaching the young 
Forensic Student how to "speak aud act in the 
most approved mannei • 

Works on Oratory, Recitation, 
and Chairman’s Duties. 

Price 50 Cts. Each , Bound in Board. 
“ 75 “ Bound in Cloth. 

DE MITT’S PERFECT ORATOR.— 

Comprising a great number o f Readings, Recita- 
tions, Dialogues and Harangues from the most 
celebrated Tragedies, Poems and Speeches. 
WEBSTER’S RECITER ; or, Elocution 
Made Easy .Plainly showing the proper attitudes 
of the figure, the various expressions oftheface, 
andthe different inflections and modulations of 
the voice. 

WEBSTER’S CHAIRMAN’S MANUAL 

and Speakers’ Guide ; showing plainly and 
clearly how to preside over all kinds, Public, 
Private and Lodge meetings, duties of Officers, &c. 

FOOT-LIGHT FLASHES. ByW.Davidge, 
Comedian. Price $1 .50, bound in Cloth, 12mo, 


